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Getting Personal

It’s been a while since I created a blog post. I’ve been quiet lately and recently started revising my book, “Leaving Loneliness Behind,” which I self-published in 2020. When I first published my book, I titled it Overcoming the Spirit of Suicide and later changed the title to what it is currently. I put a lot of time into it back then, but I must admit I held back. I did not write my personal stories to help readers gain more insight into what I was trying to get across in my book.

So much happened in my life, especially since my family had abandoned me, that it brought me to the brink of disparity. My book does have scriptural references, but the intent of “Leaving Loneliness Behind” isn’t written to persuade anyone to convert but instead to share insight regarding my experiences. I hold the belief that everyone has the right to believe or not to believe in anything they wish. Plus, I ask any prospective reader to consider that even though I had painful past experiences, I chose to express myself through written expression instead of physically acting them out. I ask possible readers to give my book a chance since I intend to encourage something positive instead of something destructive.

Within a couple of months, possibly three, I will be relaunching my book, and this time, it will be full of personal experiences and much more thought-provoking. I will discuss the issues of child abuse I endured, how I reacted and how I treated my family while growing up. I will also describe and share my experiences with falsely being accused of domestic violence and dealing with parental alienation. Also, I’ll write about my frustration about how a church that my brother and mother attend encourages separation instead of teaching the love of Christ by prioritizing their church doctrine over relationships. Honestly, I hope I am wrong regarding such a thing about a church, but we shall see. Even when I tried calling adult services because I thought my mother might be experiencing some abuse by my brother, I felt stonewalled by them too.

“Leaving Loneliness Behind” is a life-long journey, and before my book even became a thought and brought into existence, I ran away from home in 2010 and tried to start over somewhere else. When I ran away and started over, I became a small church member at that point in my life. Despite being baptized and accepting Christ as my savior, I still ate for comfort, abused alcohol, smoked cigarettes, and toward the end, I even abused drugs like marijuana. When I could no longer hide from my pain, I broke down and threatened self-harm and then spent 12 days in the hospital.

In my journey with loneliness, I’ve been slowly getting myself back together and recently earned two certificates in the Fundamentals of Accounting I and II. I am feeling much more optimistic, and things in my life are getting better!! This coming week of July 2022, I will be taking an editor’s course to sharpen my skills and help other writers in their journey. Plus, I will learn some other lessons that will help me build an online business since I would like to have my own small publishing company.

Please follow my blog and help me stay encouraged; your comments and suggestions will help me greatly in my journey, which I lovingly share with you, the reader.

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Cut Off By Those Who Love

From the murder of George Floyd to the acquittal of Kyle Rittenhouse and to the worldwide protests regarding masks and vaccinations it’s definitely apparent that people of the world are dangerously divided. The reason is that people want to be right! Some people would rather kill others than to be wrong. Murdering others isn’t limited to shooting others with assault rifles or pressing ones knee  into someone’s throat then claiming self-defense or killing others by refusing to wear masks or foregoing vaccinations in the face of being and having rights! Is protecting one’s rights and the need to be right now an act of self-defense?
The whole world is currently distracted and stirred by so much confusion and are driven by the necessity to be right and to protect their rights that other people’s lives no longer matter to them. They don’t even care about the lives of their own family. One don’t need an assault weapon to kill someone they love because to them love is their lethal weapon. Since love is more powerful than any made man weapon it can either create life or destroy it. For the most part it looks like weaponizing love in the form of abuse is the foundation that so many wish to protect because the believe they’re right. 
How can love be used as a weapon to murder family and friends? The tactic is simple, “I’ll love you when you’re good and I won’t love you when you’re bad.” In other words those that suffer from abuse often find themselves being alienated and isolated by their family. When people might face abandonment with the possibility of being cut off by those who love them, they will feel judged and condemned. Their loved ones will look past their poor attitudes and harmful behaviors that contributed to their conflicts. They will also believe that they haven’t done anything wrong. Abandonment can cause so much pain that it could lead someone to lose their will to live. They could possibly shut down and stop trying to lead a healthy productive life or they could hurt themselves by ending it altogether. Abandonment is cutting someone off from receiving love. Denying love is how love becomes a lethal weapon. Abandonment is an outward expression that demonstrates that one does not care if their loved one lives or dies. Abandonment also indicates the message that, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” 
In my book, “Leaving Loneliness Behind: The Essential Guide That Encourages You That Your Life Is Not a Mistake. Find Your Destiny and Purpose By Overcoming The Suicide Spirit“, I take abandonment deeper by sharing that whatever is true on the inside is also true on the outside and vice versa. It is a reflection of what is happening in a person’s life. This idea also connects to the the need to be right and killing others to protect that right while hiding behind the claim that it’s self-defense. So in other words how people hurt others in the streets it’s also how they hurt each other at home. What’s true on the inside is true on the outside.
People don’t love each other. After Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted instead of showing remorse that he killed two people all he said was “The jury reached the correct verdict. Self-defense is not illegal. And I believe they came to the correct verdict and I’m glad that everything went well….”